Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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