I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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