don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
