If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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