I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize