actually, I'm a sock model
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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