Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
