Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
