I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
