I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH