Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I have already put on my inside pants.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.