I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out