So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
