she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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