So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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