the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
