just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
