Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
