Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
