Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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