porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
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but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
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It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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