Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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