I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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