So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize