well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
