I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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