Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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