So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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