So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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