Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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