She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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