I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize