In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Dick very happy bro
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize