I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
