The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
