You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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