Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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