I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Randomize
