We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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