the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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