The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
