I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize