her vagine was all disorganized.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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