I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
