there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
