It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
