He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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