Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
