Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
