Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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