Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
