sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
