Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
