do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
