I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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