He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
