Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Houston, we have a blender
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
